Jerome

Will You Wait For Me?

As many of you already know, Johnny was not only my twin, he was also the best friend I ever had. In fact, not only was he that, but a whole lot more, he was a part of me. What many of you might not be able to relate to is the connection we had. You see, we were twins, we were born together – we shared the same womb for 9 months. I mean, arguably Johnny was my older brother, being born about 12 seconds before me, but other than that we have been together forever. We spent pretty much our whole childhood together, and it was not until recently that a physical distance came between us. So, there is no point denying it. Everyone here knows full well that every relationship has its ups and downs. If someone ever told me that they had a perfect relationship with their siblings, I just wouldn’t believe them. I mean, just ask Sarah or Lee, Johnny and I contributed to our household arguments as much as each other. But, they will also vouch for the fact that Johnny and I probably had arguments more often than the others. I think this is easy to understand, and I am pretty sure everyone in this room already knows the reason why already – because as soon as you get to know Johnny and I, it is clear. Despite being twins, it is amazing just how different we were, we were complete opposites. It is strange in a way, because everything I succeeded in Johnny didn’t and vice versa. But these differences were important to us, they made us laugh. They didn’t detract from our connection, in fact they made it stronger. Together we were always the dynamic duo, unbeatable in anything. Team work was our thing, if one was struggling we always had the other one to turn to.As you will al be aware, last year for the first time Johnny and I moved off to different places, after 18 inseparable years we decided to go off to University and try being our own people, completely. Not that we didn’t love being together, its just that we thought it would be nice to see what it would be like. Of course, I am now in Leeds studying Design, whereas Johnny having always being the brains was in Bristol reading Law. Even though these were supposed to be our first ever individual experiences, of course they weren’t. We shared absolutely everything, whether we wanted to or not. I am sure Sue and Sam can vouch for me when I say that when you have a twin, you share everything. You feel every emotion the other is feeling, its this amazing connection, a bond that is always unbreakable. If ever I was down or felt ill, Johnny would know and ring me, and I would do the same to him. The same with great experiences, if ever anything happened, the first person we would have to tell was each other – nobody else would have ever crossed our minds first.Unfortunately due to our new locations, I wasn’t there for Johnny the one time I should have been. As we all know, Johnny had his accident three weeks ago. Only twenty minutes before, I had been on the phone to Johnny. He was telling me all about his plans for the summer, he wanted to go travelling with his girlfriend Laura. He wasn’t sure where exactly they were going but they were all set, inter railing I think was the plan. I asked him if he loved Laura, he said yes and I said I thought so. In a way I almost envied him, because Laura made him so happy. Laura, just in case he never told you, he loved you with all his heart. You were the first person ever to steal his heart in that way, and I personally thank you for that. When I spoke to Johnny on that day he was so happy and so excited, I had never known him get like that before, anybody who managed to make my brother feel that way must be one amazing person. I just want you to know Laura, that I am always there for you if you ever need someone. Whatever the problem may be, if you need someone just call me.Because Johnny’s life was cut short, he never got a chance to say goodbye to any of us, just like we never got the chance to say our fond farewells. Maybe this is better, I don’t think I could have ever sad good bye to him. When I think about it, even though Johnny is no longer with me, in many ways he still will be. Johnny was my twin, my other half – we were linked in a way not many people are. I knew, and fully understood Johnny. I knew why he was up or down, I never had to ask. We would share all our moments, even when apart. Therefore, he has half my heart – that half is still here and it always will be. Johnny, will always live on in my heart.But, I also hope in many ways he will live on in yours. Johnny was impossible to forget. I am looking out now, and all I can see are tears, but that’s not what I want. I want you all to smile, Johnny wouldn’t want us all to be sad. He was the funniest, happiest guy I ever knew. If anyone was down, Johnny would know what to do. When we were at school, his smile and his humour were his gift, he will be remembered by everyone for brightening up their days. Even if he were down and troubled, he couldn’t stand to see other people upset, he would always be the one to try sort things out. People were his love, he would do anything for anyone. Whether he knew them or not. I know it may sound typical, but he would always be the one who would stop and help someone cross the road and so on. But he didn’t do these things to impress, but just out of the goodness of his heart. He couldn’t stand to see anyone suffer and would have given the shirt off his own back if it would help someone else.These qualities are hard to come by, and I have always fallen short in matching up to him. I have always respected him for it, but people are different. What I am not going to do is say that I am going to change, but what I want to do is ask people to remember Johnny and how he was. Never forget him, he will always be there with us. He is always going to be in my heart, he is up there waiting for me and one day I will join him as we all will. But till then we all need to keep Johnny in our thoughts, try to learn from his example but most importantly to smile, as I know that he is smiling down on us. Someone once told me that only the good die young, that was Johnny, and maybe God was rewarding him – at least I hope he is! But don’t worry as Johnny isn’t gone, as he is still in here, in my heart.

posted by Jeremy @ 5:45 pm